Choices

I need to quit my job. The one that's my "job," and not my "career." I work three shifts a week, 15-20 hours or so, waiting tables at a fine seafood restaurant in Leawood, Kansas. I have that job because I'm only 3/4 time at my career job.

I need to quit the second job, because it eats up energy and time I would like to put toward my "real job," being the pastor of Abiding Peace Lutheran Church.

I need to quit that job because I am the entire staff of Abiding Peace, which means if we're going to grow, it's up to me. Yes, that's bad ecclesiology--the growth of the church is up to the whole community, right? But ecclesiology and reality are often downright hostile to one another. (Just google "Reformation" for evidence of this.) The truth is, the congregation is looking to me to grow this church, and whether I like it or not is really beside the point.

So I need to quit that second job. It's hard, though, because there's also all this stuff I want.

I want a laptop. I want a new desk chair. I want to go on vacation, somewhere cool. I want to continue to download the internet at lightening speed by paying forty dollars a month to Time Warner Cable.

Because I'm three-quarters time at church and still pay $450 a month for the privilege of having borrowed a seminary education, something will have to go in order for me to quit my second job. One of those things I consider essential...those things that are really choices, but which America teaches us we deserve. I deserve a cell phone and a laptop and Road Runner high speed internet. I deserve them. Plus, I need them to do my job (the real one) better. That's my favorite rationalization of all.

I don't know yet what I'll do. It's a hard choice. If you are reading this, your wisdom is sought. Prayers are good too. Just as a general rule.