Monday, October 16, 2006

Fantasy Football Awards--The Winner Is...!

The award? Worst Fantasy Football Coach of the Week

I'm so proud.

I actually was feeling pretty prideful, after I had the only team in my Fantasy Football league to go 4-0. I thought I was a fantasy genius.

So this week, I, the genius coach of the team called Luther's Lions (the great Reformation-era fantasy team) made the following move: traded Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger for Chiefs quarterback Damon Huard. I also traded Jets kicker Mike Nugent for Chiefs kicker Lawrence Tynes. This wasn't a horrible trade--Nugent hasn't done squat for me, and I'd be fine at kicker if whatever is wrong with Adam Vinatieri would get right. I figured Tynes would have some field goal opportunities at Pittsburgh--since they would be tough in the red zone. But your kicker can only get points if his team can get across the fifty yard line once in a while.

I started both Huard and Tynes, along with Larry Johnson, on Sunday. I got a total of 5 points from Huard and Tynes. You have to know a little something about fantasy leagues (and the way points are scored in our particular league) to know how bad that is. Suffice it to say, it is bad. Really bad. Even in Pittsburgh, I was hoping for somewhere north of 20 points from them.

Larry Johnson got 8 points. And will start for me every week, because he is still the best running back in football, and all of the bandwagon-jumping negative commentary will just ratchet up the desire in his belly which makes him the best running back in football. He nearly had his head torn off last week, and was back in practice a few days later.

But here's how I won the Worst Coach of the Week Award: barring something crazy, I will lose by several points to a guy who didn't even start a quarterback. Both of his were on their bye week, so he just went without. He will beat me soundly, unless the Chicago Bears defense doesn't score five points against the Arizona Cardinals. Again, you have to know how the scoring works, but that is about as likely as George W. Bush appearing in a tie-dyed t-shirt and Berkenstocks at an anti-war rally.

Which reminds me...there are actually more important things in the world than Fantasy Football. And even regular football.

It's still a tough morning to be a Chiefs fan. Hopefully they just decided to get all of their really sucky play out in a single game. If so--good strategy.
I'm off to look at the waiver wire now.

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